Instagram reel by Margarita Nazarenko framing "selfishness" as a three-step strategy for women to get what they want in relationships and life. The speaker addresses the viewer directly ("Diva") and pitches the video as a teaching moment.
The reel opens by promising to teach "how to get everything you want in life by being selfish in three steps" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, opening lines).
The first step is that "selfish women say what they want" rather than hinting or sulking — the example given is asking directly for sushi, or telling a partner explicitly to fix a shelf, instead of expecting him to infer it: "so if they want sushi tonight she's gonna ask for sushi instead of sulking if she needs him to come home and fix that shelf she's gonna say exactly that" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 1).
This is paired with a claim about male psychology: "men love to have a system of ways they can make you happy" and "if he doesn't want to make you happy, then he doesn't like you enough and he's not for you" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 1).
The second step reframes self-sacrifice in relationships as a "manipulation technique" that women mislabel as love — doing things for a partner in the hope he reciprocates: "Women have this amazing manipulation technique and you guys call it love, but it's actually manipulation where you do a lot for someone and hopes that they will do that thing back for you" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 2).
The speaker contrasts how men and women process being given to: "Men think if she's doing this for me that means I deserve it. Women think if she's doing this for me that means I gotta do it back" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 2). She warns that over-giving women "kill yourself, ... give him your best years, ... slave away" only to have him "just going to say thank you if that and move on" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 2).
The stated payoff of not self-sacrificing: avoiding being "stuck with a guy who doesn't want to commit, doesn't love them, doesn't want to do things for them for 700 years waiting for the ring" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 2).
The third step is that "selfish women are not afraid to disappoint people," positioned as necessary for thriving in business, parenting, and relationships alike: "if you are going to thrive in life... raise your children in a way you want and all of these things and get a man you want... you're going to have to disappoint people" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 3).
She frames the alternative negatively — being "the communal donkey who does everything for everyone and kills yourself" — and urges tolerating others' disappointed reactions: "Look at their disappointed faces. Okay, okay, it's okay. You're gonna be a little bit disappointed. You're gonna survive" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, step 3).
The reel closes by justifying this "selfishness" as collectively beneficial: "I am selfish for the good of everyone because everyone drinks from the well of feminine energy. So when a woman is happy... selfish, that's when everyone else thrives" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, closing). She appeals to observed outcomes in families and relationships when women self-sacrifice: "Look at the times when you see families, relationships, dynamics... when a woman self-sacrifices... Are those people thriving? Is everyone happy? No, they're not" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx, Transcript, closing).
type: summary title: Video by margarita.nazarenko — "How Selfish Women Get Everything" description: An Instagram reel by Margarita Nazarenko presenting a three-step framework for women to get what they want by being "selfish" — voicing desires, refusing self-sacrifice, and tolerating others' disappointment. tags: - dating - relationships - psychology - gender-dynamics created: 2026-07-23 updated: 2026-07-23 timestamp: '2026-07-23T00:00:00Z' sources: - raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dzpbhm3ktxx confidence: low origin: ingest resource: https://www.instagram.com/p/DZpBHM3KTXx/