An Instagram reel by Margarita Nazarenko declares the end of the "good girl era" and argues for a "selfish era" in which women put themselves first as a precondition for giving to others, building a business, having a family, and receiving love.
The reel opens with a declaration that self-sacrifice is over: "Your good girl era is over. It's finished." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶1) and that the old pattern "It's good for nobody. It's disastrous. It's not iconic. It's disgusting." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶2)
The proposed replacement is self-prioritization defined instrumentally, not as pure hedonism: "By selfish, I mean you prioritize yourself and you do what you need to do in order to be able to give to others and do all those things that you say you want to do, create that business. have that family and do all of that good stuff." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶3)
The reel describes a mechanism where chronic self-sacrifice curdles into resentment: "When you sacrifice yourself and you become a dirty old dish rag and the sink that everyone's used and I want to appreciate and then you cry about it and you become resentful, that's where the problem starts." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶4)
It frames self-deprioritization as pre-emptive rejection avoidance: "you want to put yourself last before others do because you want to be the first one to give the rejection to yourself." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶5) — done "just so that you don't have to feel the pain of them. They don't have to reject you. You've already rejected yourself, baby girl." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶7)
It claims self-rejection suppresses an inner awareness of one's own potential: "there's a small part of you inside that knows you were born for better things you were born for greater things you were born for an amazing life" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶8), and that suppressing this need eventually manifests physically, invoking a "the body keeps the score" framing and naming Gabor Maté: "your body does hold the score. Ask Gabomate, he will tell you that, right? and it holds the score so it makes sure you rest when you're already running yourself dry." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶10–11)
The reel escalates the cost of continued self-sacrifice to relational and aesthetic decline: "that resentful part will make you uglier physically, emotionally, spiritually, until the people that you sacrificed yourself for don't want you anyway." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶13)
The stated remedy is to reverse the order of priority: "The way to get the life you want and the love of the people you want... is to put yourself first in the first place. It's to do what you need to do. is to look after yourself, to love yourself and to model for your children and people around you and your friends what it means to actually love yourself." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶14–15)
Claim [synthesis]: The reel implies a modeling mechanism for how one is treated by others — that self-neglect teaches others to neglect you, and self-respect teaches others to respect you — generalizing from: "you model to other people how they should treat you. And you abandoned yourself a long time ago." (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶18)
Finally, the reel claims self-prioritization increases capacity and attractiveness rather than reducing it: "if you're selfish and you do what you gotta do then you've got so much more to give to other people. and you're so much more pleasant and you're so much more of a joy and you're so much more magnetic" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶16–17), contrasted against the alternative of being "that resentful little rat that wants to be appreciated. but doesn't even appreciate herself" (raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd, transcript ¶18).
[[concepts/self-prioritization]] · Self-Prioritization
type: summary
title: Video by margarita.nazarenko — Your "Selfish Era"
description: Instagram reel argues that women should stop self-sacrificing ("good
girl era") and prioritize themselves first, framing this as the actual path to giving
more and being loved.
tags:
- psychology
- relationships
- self-worth
created: 2026-07-23
updated: 2026-07-23
timestamp: '2026-07-23T00:00:00Z'
sources:
- raw/ig-reel-video-by-margarita-nazarenko-dajadb7zjwd
confidence: medium
origin: ingest
resource: https://www.instagram.com/p/DajADb7zJWD/